Your comments above remind me of when we were attending a birth preparation class and the teacher asked us what 'activity or alone time' we couldn't give up during the initial period after the birth so that we could 'schedule' it in as a couple etc. My partner said tennis, and I remember thinking to myself what an asshole - he can't give up tennis for a couple months. But the truth is that the other 5 expecting fathers each had some activity they couldn't give up and needed it to be scheduled and recognized.

And of course none of the expecting Mom's had any activities that they couldn't give up.

Parenting is not about equal tasks between mothers and fathers its about roles and how we play them in our kids lives. I find that the need for everything to be 'equitable' and allocated is simply unrealistic - its against our hardwiring and natural instincts. I say this all without belittling either parents influence or importance.

At least for me, I am sure I wouldn't give up any of the mundane tasks of motherhood if Papa all of the sudden offered to take over everything. There is that primal instinct (or maybe its the control freak inside me) that won't let me. So I can bitch and complain that I do everything and almost nothing of what I potentially used too - but I know I want it this way, wouldn't change it and would probably go nutty if I had to.