I see your point that the kids are expected to sashay between extreme gender and no gender at all. Both are wrong. Extreme, meaning hyper Transformer macho muscles, then Teacher says everybody is the same and a female squirrel in a telling bubble can be a karate master. For the girls, it's drowning in pink tulle and looks-obsession, but oh PS you have to go to law school because the Mommy track is for dopes and losers. Make with the leather bustier and trash the boys. It is all too extreme and unnatural, so I agree with you. This is an interesting post and you have a point.

No, you CAN'T expand anything, so don't tinker! The children NEED to define, and separate, genders, so let them. Never, ever force this stuff. The girls of the same age have fifty times your son's capacities in every way, and the boys absolutely have to band together, and build forts, or they will be eaten alive. Let them! It WILL straighten out. Your son will model his life on yours, eventually. Please re-read the part about grandchildren. Worry about that. (Nicely.)