You shouldn't let him "peg ants with a squirt gun in the back yard"! Killing is for food or for defense, not for fun. And he doesn't need cooking class. And no, gender, is not just a limited mechanical thing, about siring, and gestating, young. While varied, it is a living thing, in every cell, for all of life. The children figure this out. Your task is to know some unvarnished, unpropaganda-ed realism, and, to enforce propriety - for both sexes. All this fussing about gender can be counter-productive. You do want grandchildren, don't you? You do want your son to take care of them and their mother, don't you? Excessive doctrinaire-ness is fatiguing, and leads on to silliness. Gender confusion in adulthood is seriously painful, so let's not horse around too much. People have a right to be what they are. Repeat that ten times, and do not try to make a gender-less world. It is likely to be a brutal one.