BT has a great point: "You are correct that Judaism doesn't find being a gay male to be fine. However, there is much more nuance to this than you know, talk to Chabad. They view it as a challenge and a problem, but you are still a Jew."

Thta approach is not limited to Chabad or to dealing with homosexuality. There is no Jew who keeps every Mitzvah. It's actually pretty hard to be "excommunicated" so to speak. On the other hand, it's pretty easy to be shunned--but that's also true in secular culture and every other religion.