Paulina, may G‑d console you, together with all mourners of Zion and Jerusalem.

When my Dad passed away a few years ago, we decided to do everything in a completely traditional Jewish way.  It was so comforting NOT to have to make a lot of awful decisions at a point where we weren't able to decide what to do about dinner (and the shiva meals took care of that too).  Centuries before Kubler-Ross, the Jews understood about the stages of grief and mourning, and how to help people get through them with dignity, grace and strength (no matter what the relationships and circumstances invovled)--and then go on with the incredible gift of life we've all been given.

You'll find that saying Kaddish, lighting the Yarzheit candle and Yizkor are amazing moments, too.  Sorrow, memory, loss for everything that was, wasn't, should have been, might have been--and still, above all, comfort and grace.