the process of shiva is precisely to force one to think of that person. No drinking to mask the pain, no work to keep you otherwise occupied...you take the time to mourn and remember. And you also learn the lesson that you have to move on, that no matter how much you miss the person that after a week, and no matter how much you miss that person, that live invariably does go on. So, yes, I really do think that the entire process is focused on the person who passed, and more importantly ensuring that their spirit and memory lives on.