Sorry to hear about your mother's death, and I found this an interesting take on the Jewish mourning process.  

 When my grandfather and uncle died (not at the same time) I also thought the Jewish traditions relating to mourning were sensible and comforting.  But years later I started to question whether something was missing.  Judaism goes a long way toward focusing on the living rather than on the dead--with the closed casket, the shiva calls, etc. All these things are a comfort. 

But I wonder if, in focusing so much on the living, we miss an opportunity to face our own mortality.  I remember visiting a monastery in Spain that had a skeleton hanging over the entrance.  the message was clear to all the monks who had to walk through the doorway each day--your time is limited, seize the day and make your life meaningful while you still can.  

I'm not saying the Christians have got death right, what with their unverifiable claims of an afterlife and (in some cases) horrendous make-up jobs on dead bodies.  But I do wonder if Judaism could do more to address the problem of death head-on, rather than just "focus on the living," as if we won't all die one day. 

--Z