JakeRake

A creature of the Washington, D.C., suburban sprawl, Jake Rake is a graduate of the University of Maryland. His interests include baseball, rock 'n roll, and not feeling feelings. Jake is a contributor to The Onion, Gelf, SNY's The Nooner and The Business Corporation, posts daily on JakeRake.com and hangs out like crazy.  He works on a couch in Jewcy's Dumbo office and recently achieved his lifelong goal of posting a link to a novelty hardcore porn site on the website of an online Jewish magazine.

67 Articles Published | Follow:
Jewcy Zeitgeist: Sail Like A Despot, Diet Cake for the Fatties and Heath Ledger’s Corpse Gettin’ Down But Then Out

In a complete about-face from elections past, polling stations around the U.S. are anticipating so…

Jews and Words: HAVA, The Lox and Eckstein Revealed

With 2002’s Help America Vote Act coming into play in Tuesday’s election, let’s take a…

Americans: This is Your Future Leader Speaking…

As trite as it may be to discuss Barack Obama’s big brother-esque, domination of television…

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Pigs Gone Wild, Glory in Philly and Syrians Who Don’t Understand That America Does as America Does

Thousands of crybaby Syrians gathered in Damascus to whine about U.S. soldiers entering their country…

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Porn Loses a Pioneer, Rednecks Target Obama & Sir Charles’ Political Aspirations

Two Tennessee skinheads have been arrested for allegedly conspiring to kill Barack Obama. A federal…

U.S. Military Conducts Raid Into Syria

An American official confirmed on Monday that the U.S. military had conducted a raid into…

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Luxury Reform in NYC, Hick Rag Pulling For Obama and A Big Fat Mexican Gets Some Lovin’

Caesar Bloomberg’s proposed plan for cutting down on automobile emissions within New York City would…

NY Times Backs Obama; So?

The New York Times has officially endorsed Barack Obama in the upcoming presidential election. While…