About JakeRake

A creature of the Washington, D.C., suburban sprawl, Jake Rake is a graduate of the University of Maryland. His interests include baseball, rock 'n roll, and not feeling feelings. Jake is a contributor to The Onion, Gelf, SNY's The Nooner and The Business Corporation, posts daily on JakeRake.com and hangs out like crazy.  He works on a couch in Jewcy's Dumbo office and recently achieved his lifelong goal of posting a link to a novelty hardcore porn site on the website of an online Jewish magazine.

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Sail Like A Despot, Diet Cake for the Fatties and Heath Ledger’s Corpse Gettin’ Down But Then Out

By November 3, 2008

In a complete about-face from elections past, polling stations around the U.S. are anticipating so many voters showing up for Tuesday’s election that they are concerned about being unable to accomodate the crowds. A class-action lawsuit filed by a group … Read More

Jews and Words: HAVA, The Lox and Eckstein Revealed

By November 3, 2008

With 2002′s Help America Vote Act coming into play in Tuesday’s election, let’s take a look at HAVA’s brethren in the fraternity of stuff with Jewish-sounding names that aren’t actually Jewish: The Lox: The rap trio scored a minor hit … Read More

Americans: This is Your Future Leader Speaking…

By October 30, 2008

As trite as it may be to discuss Barack Obama’s big brother-esque, domination of television last night, it was somewhat of a unique scenario, and hence, worthy of a couple of paragraphs of thought. The ad, which ran on NBC, … Read More

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Pigs Gone Wild, Glory in Philly and Syrians Who Don’t Understand That America Does as America Does

By October 30, 2008

Thousands of crybaby Syrians gathered in Damascus to whine about U.S. soldiers entering their country and killing people. In what could be a hint of things to come in other countries that refuse to dabble in treif, Pakistan is overrun … Read More

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Porn Loses a Pioneer, Rednecks Target Obama & Sir Charles’ Political Aspirations

By October 28, 2008

Two Tennessee skinheads have been arrested for allegedly conspiring to kill Barack Obama. A federal judge has protected convicted sex offenders’ right to celebrate halloween. The head of Iraq’s puppet government has condemned the United States’ raid into Syria. A … Read More

U.S. Military Conducts Raid Into Syria

By October 27, 2008

An American official confirmed on Monday that the U.S. military had conducted a raid into Syria, killing at least eight. Syrian foreign minister Walid Muallem called the attack a "criminal and terrorist aggression." The U.S. raid has been denounced as … Read More

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Luxury Reform in NYC, Hick Rag Pulling For Obama and A Big Fat Mexican Gets Some Lovin’

By October 27, 2008

Caesar Bloomberg’s proposed plan for cutting down on automobile emissions within New York City would mean the end of the Lincoln Towncar in Manhattan. The Anchorage Daily News has endorsed Barack Obama for president. In addition to spurning local product … Read More

NY Times Backs Obama; So?

By October 24, 2008

The New York Times has officially endorsed Barack Obama in the upcoming presidential election. While the Times is obviously one of the most influential publications in the world, its track record of presidential endorsements has yielded mixed results. The newspaper, … Read More