About JakeRake

A creature of the Washington, D.C., suburban sprawl, Jake Rake is a graduate of the University of Maryland. His interests include baseball, rock 'n roll, and not feeling feelings. Jake is a contributor to The Onion, Gelf, SNY's The Nooner and The Business Corporation, posts daily on JakeRake.com and hangs out like crazy.  He works on a couch in Jewcy's Dumbo office and recently achieved his lifelong goal of posting a link to a novelty hardcore porn site on the website of an online Jewish magazine.

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Pirate Chatter, Robo-AIDS and Hillary Gets a New Job

By December 1, 2008

The news that’s not about dead Indians: President-Elect Obama is expected today to announce the appointments of Hillary Clinton and Robert Gates as the Secretaries of State and Defense, respectively. 20,000 U.S. troops are expected to be stationed within U.S. … Read More

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Zimbabweans Getting Sick, 16th-Century-Style, Drinkin’ Pee in Space and Russia Does As Russia Does

By November 26, 2008

Last one before the news takes a couple of days off so that those who cover it can enjoy the holiday… Defense Secretary Robert Gates will get to keep his job, at least for now. Ibrahim Nasir, the first president … Read More

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Robo Ethics, Rogue Health Nuts and Chinese Suppression Of Axl’s Opus

By November 25, 2008

Meanwhile, back on Earth… Osama bin Laden’s former driver is set to be transferred from Guantanamo Bay to a prison in Yemen, where he will be held until his sentence expires on December 27. A computer scientist at Georgia Tech … Read More

Angelina Jolie, Soviet-Style

By November 24, 2008

I guess Angelina Jolie is awesome [look how much trouble Ricky Gervais got into for trashing Jolie at the Golden Globes]  I can’t actually think of a good movie she has been associated with (save for Gone in Sixty Seconds, … Read More

Church Turns To Lennon For Self-Preservation

By November 24, 2008

In what could have been surprising display of humility, the Catholic Church has posthumously "forgiven" John Lennon for remarks he made in 1966 about The Beatles being "More popular than Jesus," rather than apologizing for demonizing the then-25-year-old musician. There … Read More

Jewcy Zeitgeist: More Shady Shit In Russia, Obama Keeps It Real and Axl Rose Finally Delivers

By November 24, 2008

Stuff happens, even on the weekend somtimes… Chinese Democracy is reality (the album, not the concept). Doctors at Maywood University are doing tests to determine whether taking Viagra can give athletes an unfair advantage in competition. The Presidents of Georgia … Read More

Jewcy Zeitgeist: Finding Copernicus, Iraqis Tired of Being Killed By Americans and Angelina Jolie Controls the Media

By November 21, 2008

Who messed up what today? Various low-level underlings at Verizon have been put on leave without pay for allegedly spying on Barack Obama’s personal cell phone usage. Funny, during the previous adminstration, spying on personal cell phones became law, now … Read More

Jewcy Zeitgeist: RIP Yugo, Wal-Mart Does Good and 50 Beefs With Taco Bell

By November 20, 2008

NEWS!!!!! John McCain returned to work in Washington for the first time since losing the presidential election. Paul McCartney and Guns n’ Roses will both make their upcoming albums available on MySpace before they will be released for sale. Wal-Mart … Read More