Arts & Culture

Stuff Jewish People Like

By punktorah / September 29, 2009

Stuff (Young) Jewish People Like

-Not believing in G_d

-Liberal politics

-Ethnic food, especially of the Asian persuasion (Chinese, sushi, Indian)

-Acoustic guitar

-Any event that includes the terms "young", "single" and "professionals"

-Camp (but not camping)

-Charities that benefit marginalized people other than Jews

-For men: having sex with gentile girls

-For women: complaining about the lack of Jewish guys to date

-Emulating black people and hip hop culture

-Fearing that there will not be enough food (AKA Jewish Food Panic)

-Marijuana…and lots of it

-Self-hatred…and lots of it

-Careers in "helping" professions (education, non-profit, medicine)

-Jewish geography a la "where did you go to school", "where did your family daven"

And finally, Jewish people LOVE being Jewish…and that’s the best thing we have going for ourselves.

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  • Ilya Aleksandr
    By Fishman 10/14/09 at 12:16 a.m. UTC

    I was quoting Ismail

  • Mar
    By mochaleet 10/13/09 at 7:43 p.m. UTC

    Fishman, Freddy Krueger? I don’t get it. Oh wait this isn’t a FB page. You’ve forgotten the new Jewish conservative. Maybe I’m the only one who thinks of this bc my entire family votes republican. And Lieb Schreiber, half Jewish=total crush. 

  • Cameron Russell
    By quantum_mechanik 10/5/09 at 1:55 p.m. UTC

    Yeah, that wins.

  • By Ismail 10/5/09 at 8:07 a.m. UTC

    "Wasn’t Aladdin Turkish?"

    In the original story, he was Chinese, despite the tale’s having a middle eastern origin.

    But this is fodder for scholars. To the average American, Aladdin represents that great undifferentiated mass of swarthiness stretching from Morocco to Iran.

    With the exception of Israeli Jews, of course. These used to be represented in the popular imagination by Paul Newman. As we close out the first decade of the 21st century, though, he is being replaced by Freddy Krueger.

  • Ilya Aleksandr
    By Fishman 10/4/09 at 11:27 p.m. UTC

    Wasn’t Aladdin Turkish?

  • Cameron Russell
    By quantum_mechanik 10/4/09 at 12:50 p.m. UTC

    The most common response I get after revealing my Judaism is "Oh, I loved Fiddler on the Roof".

     Yeah, that’s us. That’s pretty much what we do.

  • By Ismail 9/30/09 at 10:52 a.m. UTC

    My pleasure. Consider it a New Year’s present.

    Turns out Ms. Elizabeth’s dad is Syrian/Lebanese, while her mom is some pallid variant of White. Fortunately, we Arabs are unburdened by halachic strictures and so I may safely claim her as one of ours despite her mom’s unfortunate ethnicity.

    And I do. Every little delicious bit of her.

      

  • Michael Makovi
    By mikewinddale 9/30/09 at 3:50 a.m. UTC

    For once Ismail, you’ve given me good spirits and a hearty laugh. Thanks.

  • By Ismail 9/29/09 at 7:49 p.m. UTC

    "No such luck with Shannon Elizabeth. Shucks."

    An Arab, as it happens. Or part Arab, anyway. Undoubtedly the good parts. 

  • Michael Makovi
    By mikewinddale 9/29/09 at 4:48 p.m. UTC

    — One-upsmanship about the psychological damage done by our mothers

    — One-upsmanship about how severe one’s illnesses are

  • Lilit Marcus
    By Lilit Marcus 9/29/09 at 11:21 a.m. UTC

    You left out a couple of my favorites:

    - "Clever" and "ironic" T-shirts

    - Guys wearing knitted kippahs that look like recycled hacky sacks

    - Making a big show of not observing holidays/not keeping kosher and then talking endlessly about how bad it makes them feel

    - When discussing celebrity gossip, conspiratorially whispering "Did you know he/she is Jewish?" about a particular star 

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