Arts & Culture

I’m not stealing news from other sites, I’m sampling it. I’m kind of the Dr. Dre of news aggregation…

• Columbian policia have apprehended a 28-year-old man who ran a pyramid scheme so extensive that its collapse effected the nation’s economy.
• The Danish Navy rescued seven pirates that were stuck at sea on a boat with a broken motor, doing little to thwart my long-standing speculation that the Danes are in fact pirates themselves.
• A 105-year-old Dutch singer who has spent the past 60 years trying to shake his ties to the Nazis shot himself in the foot yesterday, calling Hitler, "A good guy…he was nice to me."
• The guy diagnosed with the only documented case of amnesia not used as a sitcom premise died this week.
• O.J. Simpson will be sentenced today for his role in last year’s robbery, and could potentially receive a life sentence.
• A man was stabbed to death for refusing to relinquish the microphone at a karaoke bar in Malaysia. Remember, Asians fucking LOVE karaoke. 
• Adelaide, Australia’s fifth-largest city, has been reduced to importing water during the continent’s current drought, the worst in over a century.
• Jewel thieves in Paris made off with $80 million worth of booty.

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