Advice & Reviews
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Does Adult Circumcision Hurt? | |
| It might help ward off HIV, but it's still no fun. | ||
 by Tod Goldberg, December 18, 2006
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Men the world over are pondering their foreskins with a renewed sense of purpose due to a recently published clinical study in Africa that claims circumcised men are significantly less susceptible to HIV. Those curious about the gritty details of the operation can consult Slate’s Explainer column, which is so full of information that I understand a pop-up book based on the column is already in production. Even if you’d rather not consider the snipping options, though, you have to wonder: How much does it hurt?
Studies indicate that three in 1,000 uncircumcised American men end up going under the knife annually, for aesthetic, religious, and medical reasons. A number of these are Jewish immigrants from the former Soviet bloc; under Communism, hospitals refused to perform circumcisions, and mohels ran the risk of arrest. It’s important to note that while circumcision halves the odds of HIV/AIDS in the African study, that does not equate in the US. The spread of AIDS in Africa is largely through heterosexual sex, whereas in the US the prime vectors are intravenous drug use and anal sex.
Then there’s Abraham. He was 99 years old when he performed a circumcision on himself, presumably without even a topical. One could argue that at 99 there is even less feeling down there than at one week, but these days, Abraham would be encouraged to see a qualified doctor, who would inject a local anesthetic into his penis. That stings a bit, but it prevents pain during the next step, when the foreskin is snipped away. After the anesthetic wears off, however, the area will be sore and tender, often for several weeks. The recovery hurts; the procedure doesn’t.
In Africa, researchers are also looking into the ever popular “bloodless” method of circumcision, which entails the following: Gather up your foreskin in a tight clamp; hold it in place for approximately one week while the bloodless flesh slowly rots off like a co-star in an all-penis remake of Night of the Living Dead. Bloodless? Perhaps. Painless? Uh, fuck no.
The difference for adults and babies is largely one of anesthesia and time. Whether the procedure is done in a hospital or by a mohel, babies get very little in the way of pain relief. In a hospital, they may get a dab of lidocaine, but because of the potential neurological dangers of using anesthesia on newborns, doctors shy away from the pharmacological options. During a brit mila, the mohel gives the baby a small amount of wine, which helps during the procedure, but very little after. Fortunately, for babies, the entire process takes just a few minutes, the healing time is about a week, and they don’t remember any of it.
Adults get the painkillers, but they also have to endure a more complex bit of surgery. It used to be that men could have the operation performed under a general anesthesia, allowing them to simply wake up missing their foreskins. Now, however, most adult circumcisions are done as an outpatient procedure via a local anesthesia (which, while supposedly pain-free, sounds terribly unappealing, though, of course, I need a general anesthesia when my dog gets her teeth cleaned). Healing time is typically four to six weeks, during which time the patient must abstain from sex. Erections in general are best avoided; let me tell you, from experience, I endorse this advice wholeheartedly. And, unlike babies, adult patients remember all of it.
Take it from me. While I was circumcised shortly after birth and thus don’t remember the experience, I do have good reason to conclude that circumcision as an adult (or child, or teenager, or frat boy) hurts quite a bit.
The Zipper Incident (circa 1979): On a frigid winter day at Castle Rock Elementary school, I got it in my mind that I’d like to pee behind the tree by the bike racks. After quickly ensuring that neither Renee Sandoval nor Margaret Cashion could see me, I unzipped and let flow a torrent of juice-box-fueled urine. I remember thinking that it was a tremendous relief until I saw über-bully Brian Camp approaching. Surely Brian would tell the girls. Surely I’d be humiliated, not to mention suspended. I shoved all of my machinery back into place and yanked my zipper up, slicing a fair portion of skin off the bottom side of my penis. Pain factor, on a scale of one to ten: ten.
The Friction Incident (circa 1987): Five Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers. A thick pair of Guess? jeans. One 16-year-old girl named Michelle wearing equally thick Guess? jeans and a shirt by Genera that glowed in the dark. Two hours of friction, soundtrack provided by The Cure, lubrication provided by denim. Pain factor (during incident): 0, wine coolers presumably having dulled the sensation. Pain factor (after incident): ten.
The Shaving Incident (circa 1995): Given a pair of electric hair clippers, some men make the decision to look less like themselves and more like porn stars. My own adventure in pubic topiary started swimmingly. Places I hadn’t seen since 1979 were suddenly visible. The air seemed cooler. The sky seemed brighter. I thought about buying a Speedo. And then I cut a chunk of flesh from my penis with the clippers. Pain factor: ten.
What these incidents have in common is that they were done outside of a hospital, largely without anesthesia (save for the wine coolers), and long after I’d actually been circumcised. So while I didn’t have a memory of the original process, my nerve endings likely did, and what they communicated to me was that keeping sharp objects away from my penis should become my life’s work.
I'm glad our most barbaric tribal ritual is finally getting some rational justification beyond "Abraham did it, and you'll do it to your own kid." Just take it slow--and let's get some Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers over to Africa pronto.
Goldberg, P.I. would like to thank Dr. Doug P. Lyle.
Got a Jewish question? Send it to goldbergpi@jewcy.com.
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Anonymous
gross
gross dude, gross. RABBI GROSS!! aaaaaaaaahahahhahahahahahahaaha its also a name!
Anonymous
True story
I had a female co worker who was engaged to this unfortunate guy. They were both Jewish, but he had the misfortune to be born in a country were the Jews stopped practicing the ancient ritual of circumsion.
Poor guy, as this gal refused to marry a man who did not own a circumcised member. Well she was quite attractive and this was the girl of his dreams after all, so adult circumcision was an absolute necessity.
Several weeks later when the stiches were removed, the two of them decided to have sex, at least as retold by my somewhat locquacious cubicle mate. Much to her chagrin, her pals tool looked less like a mushroom and more like an eggplant. An extremely painful one as well apparently, as no detail was left untold.
Not only that, apparently my friend was so appalled at the condition of her lovers penis that she was seriously considering leaving him. She felt that she could not bear to spend the rest of her life with a man so deformed.
Unfortunately, I never got to find out if the two of them eventually got married as she left the company shortly after that.
This story should serve as a warning to those men who are considering adult circumsion.
Anonymous
I had it done, out of
I had it done, out of conviction that this was a command of God (as a muslim), took old Abraham as inspiration. pain for two weeks (hard to even walk). my junk is fine now though, no mis-shape or disfigurement.
Anonymous
forgot to mention, i was 17
forgot to mention, i was 17
lindhe@gmail.com
recently circumsiced
Sup!
I'd like to tell a little story I like to call 'the visit in hell'. It all started a few years ago. I'd started to notice that sometimes after sex (this was when I was 18ish) I would get small wounds on my foreskin. In the beginning I didn't bother getting it checked out but after a year or so, I was concerned. I decided to see a local doctor about my problem. After 2 minutes of examining my member he told me that I had fungus, fungus I probably got from my fuckbuddy. Anyways, he ordered me to buy chlorhexidine, an antiseptic highly flamable. (trust me I've lit it and it burns like gasoline). He told me to pour this antiseptic in my wounds whenever they showed up until they were gone.
The first time I tried it was like putting my dick in a bowl of acid, the pain made me grin my teeth and tear my hair. After doing this for about a year or so I was very confused about how the hell all the chicks I slept with could have a fungal infection. The gears started turning in my head and I decided to once again get examined, this time at a real doctor. He quickly analyzed my fellow and said it didn't at all look like fungus, it looked more like a tight forskin.
Fun. Here I'd been putting this acid on my penis for a year for no reason what so ever, on the contrary, The chlorohexidine dries out the natural fat-producing cells in your foreskin, making it dry and easy to 'rip'.
Anyways, four months later I finally had an appointment with a real urulog (master of penises) He told me that I had a condition causes by a virus/bacteria which causes the cells in the foreskin to continue developing tissue (making it tighter and thicker until its operated on) He also told me that there was no solution but snipping of the 'bad' area of my foreskin.
To make a long story short, three months later I was operated on and half my hood was taken.
After the operation my foreskin was about 2 times the normal size and the first day it felt like nothing had happened. Then two days in the pain started kicking in and the swelling began (I think this was because of my morningwood. how the hell am I supposed to control that?) my foreskin had now swollen to 5 times the normal size and for the next ten days I could barely walk because of the pain and it bled constantly. I felt like a girl on her period, having to change my underwear three times a day. Every time I washed it with antiseptic napkins a new era of pain and blood was revealed. Safe to say, this was the most painful and worst time of my life. (on top of that it was the last term before my art & design portfolio was the be sent).
After these dreadful ten days the pain and swelling started to go down. I was curios about how the foreskin looked so I fully pulled it back. Now I saw the destruction at first had. As I pulled it back as far as I could I saw that the sutures had broken/ripped and along my foreskin a huge chunk of skin that hadn't healed (cause of the broken sutures) popped out. To describe it with text it would go something like this: xxxOxxx, where x is a suture and O is the chunk. Naturally I panicked. Running around in my apartment just not having a clue about just what the fuck to do.
I ended up going to the local doctor (not the first one) and he told me that it had already began healing so much that stitching it back together would only make it worse. They also said that the suture probably broke because of poor stitching.
Anyways, I felt pretty fucked at this time, I saw my sex-life fade away, waving goodbye to me forever. However I got back to the urolog and he had to cut it up again and stitch it back together. Yippie! back to square one! Now I had already had ten really painful days. seven days with a chunk sticking out of my foreskin. About three weeks without sexual stimulation. Plus, I was back where I started.
This time the foreskin didn't swell and it didn't bleed. at all. I have no idea why the second time around was such a cakewalk, but who cares right?
About one and a half month later it had healed up properly and I thought things were back to normal. But I was wrong. dead wrong. I had pain masturbating, pain getting head, pain having sex. Not enough to not make me have sex tho, but just about enough to make it irritating and awful.
I'm still having pain and the operation was about five months ago. I also have a distinct scar going all the way around my foreskin and the skin is still a bit chunky and flaky. Im hoping it will get better on its own. But I might have to see a doctor again.
So yeah, don't take circumsicion lightly. It totally fucking sucks to be honest.
/J
henri
experience from Europe
I recently was reading a book by Leon de Winter, a dutch jewish writer, in which (a painful) circumsicion on a male adult is performed and described. Since I was circumcised at the age of 32 I wondered about other mens experiences and they all seem rather unpleasant - to say the least. Strange...
Though my mum is jewish (my dad isn't) my parents decided that I should not be circumcised as a child. It should be my own choice in later life. The fact that my family is not religious may be an important factor here. Even though I am not a strong believer mylelf I found it necessary as a jew to undergo "the procedure". So I did.
It was done in a European hospital under local anesthesia. I even asked my surgeon if I could watch and he had no problem with that. It's not a pretty sight I must say. After the operation I was given an asperin and I took a nap. After that a cab brought me home. The only pain I have ever had was during the first couple of weeks when my shlong wanted to go up. But further nothing, not even the first hours after the operation. I simply went to work the next day.
The only thing you must know is that the head of the penis becomes slightly less sensitive. But you realy get used to that.
Maseltov and if you need the name of my surgeon, let me know.
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